The importance of love and connection
When we raise children, we more often than not have our children’s best interests at heart and mind. But oftentimes our own journey or priorities prevent us from the important things and basic requirements that children need.
As a registered counsellor, I (Candice Lambert) am often wanting to simplify science for parents in order to make them practical and part of everyday life. Most of us have come across and understand how to interpret Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. However, through inductive reasoning, research and other inquiry methods, Wellness Dialogue Group has new insights to share: that connection and love forms part of our physiological needs as children and as human beings.
What does the research say?
According to the National Library of medicine: “Attachment is where the child uses the primary caregiver as a secure base from which to explore and, when necessary, as a haven of safety and a source of comfort”. Without this basic human need being met in the early years of life and even later on, we can experience isolation, loss of connection, low mood or higher anxiety, all of which can be explained in relation to hormones within our bodies: higher cortisol and adrenaline levels, lower oxytocin levels and lower serotonin levels, which is critical to the healthy basic functioning of a human being.
We also find that without a healthy attachment in the early years, later life may be more difficult to deal with stress and be resilient in the face of life challenges. Therefore, considering that attachment is one of the more prominent protective factors in building resilience and without it, it may be more challenging to deal with stressful situations.
What does it look like?
Attachment takes the form of mom and baby bonding over eye contact and playful times, smiling and gazing communicating love and connection. Breast feeding and touch also are critical components to a healthy connection and bonding time as well as playful sounds and even reading aloud and story-telling
Practitioners at Wellness Dialogue Group have found that interventions also work better and there is a more receptivity and response to healing when there was a healthy attachment bond in the earlier years of life.
A conclusion with hormones
The more oxytocin, which is the love hormone that is being released in a child’s brain the more it is programed to learn, receive new information and manage difficulties. On the contrary, the more cortisol in our blood streams the more resistant we are to new incoming information and closed off we are to challenges and new experiences. Even in the classroom, we encourage teachers to understand how the brain works in order to get the children in their classrooms to do their best and get the maximum benefit to learn and grow. We cannot get children to do mathematics or literature or understand the history in our country without getting them to feel emotionally and physically safe and secure.
